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We've Got You Covered
By Gene Farinet

“Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this. Except that it ain’t so.’
Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Can there be any doubt? We’ve became a nation of inventors.

Excuses, alibis, omissions, diversions, camouflaging, pretences.

It’s embedded in our culture.

Usually we’re very good at not being caught in a truth.

Just unlucky, as they say over at the Pentagon, when “stuff happens.”

Secret jailing, the torture of prisoners, warrantless wire-tapping, runaway wars, and runaway hurricanes.

Some people are born excuse makers. Others are quick learners.

Either find a way, or find an excuse. Celebrities have spokespersons, corporations their highly paid PR reps, lawyers talk the talk, and spin-doctors are always “in.”

At the highest levels, more politicians have become proficient in the old Potomac two-step, scoring high marks in Doublespeak, and Self-Deception.

But I’m really here to report what may be news to some, at least it was to me, (no, not about your auto insurance.)

There’s paid help on the Internet for people who find themselves weak or unsure in excuse-making skills. Moral considerations optional. This is not a recommendation. A ”bull pen” of Alibi Ikes on the net specializes in the art. We’ve got you covered.

“Need a story for the little woman?” “Break a date?” “Avoid a boring meeting?”

 “Sidestep dreary in-laws?” Summon “Dial an Excuse” to the rescue.

Cell phones make it easy, an ideal way of carrying an escape plan with you.

Smokescreens are plotted in advance. A “Dial” counselor calls a client at a pre-set time and location with a tailor made story.

The Alibi Network advertises, “Customized alibis” Concoctions lasting weeks or even months. A phony job with a fake company bogus employee ID. A mail drop. And a toll-free phone with a clued-in counselor on the other end. Background sound effects available, if you like.

Stage props are common. Sham brochures, [phony receipts, forged doctors’ excuses, backdated FedEx parcel delivery confirmations. And gifts, easy enough. Flowers. Candy. Expensive baubles with credit card purchases charged to a fraudulent company.
Clinical psychologists are forever trying to explain why such human behavior has become so widespread, Yet many questions remain unanswered, no unexpected truths discovered, In fact, relatively little is new.

Simply put, nothing has changed much since the late 1800’s,when Mark Twain wrote:
“None of us could live in the world with an habitual truth-teller,
Thank goodness none of us has to.”


Gene Farinet, an award winning veteran newsman, spent much of his long career at NBC News as a writer and producer working with Frank McGee, Ed Newman, John Chancellor and Tom Brokaw, covering space, politics and special projects everywhere in the world.



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